The Slow Decay & the Little Victories
Perhaps this is my pinnacle; maybe this is where I top out. I sincerely hope not, but everything feels very uphill from here. I am so much better now at processing and evaluating the inner workings of my brain and the motivations for what I do and who I talk to and how I move forward in all things. I am regularly scraping out the skeletal bowl that is my skull in search of answers or guidance for these new versions of me that are populating in the moment so that I can pivot accordingly in the hopes that I retain some version of the self I knew. My doc and I assumed a bump up in dosage of my Welbutrin would help return some of my long-missing focus, but that hasn't seemed to have made much of a difference. It remains incredibly difficult to read; it takes several minutes to read a single page, but then I need to read that page multiple times to read it all. And even then, it's about a 25% chance that I've comprehended what I just worked my ass off reading. As someone who u